Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I just want to make out with him forever
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Randomize
