Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Sponge bath it is.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
Let's get the cat blown out
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
