to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
