It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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