Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?

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  (516): onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please? (443): he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag? http://tfl.nu/5o6h
  Replies (134) Good night (13597) Bad night (26321)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.

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  (847): my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b. http://tfl.nu/5vrv
  Replies (6) Good night (1136) Bad night (3916)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.

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  (519): All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like. http://tfl.nu/ro2k
  Replies (50) Good night (6661) Bad night (882)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger

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  (864): I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger http://tfl.nu/bdgv
  Replies (10) Good night (3011) Bad night (885)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...

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  (203): Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night... http://tfl.nu/4ooo
  Replies (7) Good night (1190) Bad night (4775)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on

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  (219): surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on http://tfl.nu/a8g3
  Replies (9) Good night (3351) Bad night (1160)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now

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  (314): not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now http://tfl.nu/x7uc
  Replies (10) Good night (2432) Bad night (1131)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?

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  (215): I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint? http://tfl.nu/8n36
  Replies (11) Good night (4542) Bad night (1152)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers

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  (617): His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers http://tfl.nu/2b5k
  Replies (9) Good night (1881) Bad night (1059)
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  (951): View more from California

  Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.

  (1-951): View more from California

  I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.

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  (951): Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny. (1-951): I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection. http://tfl.nu/lb55
  Replies (3) Good night (1215) Bad night (530)
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  (560): View more from

  I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.

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  (560): I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do. http://tfl.nu/yx9v
  Replies (3) Good night (688) Bad night (393)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.

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  (815): Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for. http://tfl.nu/bju4
  Replies (2) Good night (867) Bad night (388)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?

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  (480): He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right? http://tfl.nu/qib4
  Replies (6) Good night (665) Bad night (833)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.

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  (570): If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too. http://tfl.nu/6z8l
  Replies (4) Good night (507) Bad night (778)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed

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  (304): You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed http://tfl.nu/k800
  Replies (4) Good night (1609) Bad night (450)

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