these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
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I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
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Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Naked. naked and bneed help.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar