My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro