did you get engaged???
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.