I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
