i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
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