All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
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She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
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He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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