my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
how does that bad decision feel?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
