i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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