That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize