you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
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