wake up i wanna do it froggy style
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
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