Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
