i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
