She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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