so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
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And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
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Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.