This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
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i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
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We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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