have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Randomize