the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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