He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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