my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
