"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
