Midget sex pt 2 tonight
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
