im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
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He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
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I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
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