Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
