Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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