careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
