There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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