smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
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