Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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