Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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