we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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