Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize