check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
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