So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
