he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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