Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
