I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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