I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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