Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
