Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
