I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
