i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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