I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
