Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Blow job season was short but glorious.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
