You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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