Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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