never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
