oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
