ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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