Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
