I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
