Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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