she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
