brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
