if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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