Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
This is the high leading the old right now
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
