Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
