what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
