This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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