I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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