Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Randomize